In my acting class last night an interesting parallel to my learning to be a coach.We’ve been exploring the notion of a basic objective in scene work for several weeks.My attention was grabbed yesterday when we stopped to have a conversation as a class about the exercises we have been doing.The simple meaning of our conversation was this: knowing specifically the objective of a scene, and the specific obstacles to that objective that need to be worked through is crucial.But the focus is not the obstacle – it is the objective that pulls me through the scene, but it the obstacle that makes me want to do so.This makes for a good scene.
On the spot as we were digesting our learning, I immediately thought of some meaningful coaching conversations I have had over the last year.The meaningful part being that a coach will offer opportunities for the coachee to explore how to move through obstacles to opportunities and the objective.It is not enough to simply identify obstacles.
In the coaching models I have been exploring, I have been paying particular attention to a continuum where at one end the coach “puts in” to the coachee, and at the other end the coach “pulls out” of the coachee.To be done well, both require heightened listening skills.Specific to the latter, the coach listens intently to the coachee, minimizing the filters and analysis as much as humanly possible.What the coach thinks simply gets in the way of what is wanting to come out of the coachee.While there is a time an place for coaching models that “put in”, there is an unbalance in that respect.People seem to be hardwired to have to tell others what to do.Even in our listening that comes through in the questions we ask.
So what would happen if in conversations we served as guides to wisdom that just sits in us?What if we rest in wonder about what is wanting to come out?
Whether as a coach, facilitator, parent, spouse, manager, that there are times to “put in” and times to “pull out” of the people I am with.I am starting to notice more specifically what I need in this respect.Being skillfull in conversation requires being attentive to your actions, your default patterns, what others need and, of course, having conversations with others around what they need and what you need from each other.
In my work as a community planner, conversation is needed everywhere.Quality conversation to ensure interests are understood and priorities arGovernment, communities, developers, not-for-profit organizations, school and health systems, food production systems, energy systems, are poorly integrated in their thinking and behaviour.Unresolved and deep-seated conflict is everywhere.I don’t imagine for a moment that it is possible to get rid of it.I do imagine, however, that if by identifying what it is we wish to accomplish together, and noticing the objectives that are in our way, we then have a choice to make about where we spend our time: focus on solving the obstacles and fixing he problems, or to focus on moving through them to welcome our objective.To do either, conversation that mover far deeper than the superficial is needed.
To make our desires a reality, we have to simply note the obstacles and move past them.Just as on the theatrical stage, they are not our focus.
Isn’t it funny how even when you have heard it before, it doesn’t actually “hit” you until some later date? While it rang true before, the noise is a lot louder today for the meaning of this statement: when planning a meeting, we are really planning a harvest.
4 mates and I are preparing for an Art of Hosting (and Harvesting) gathering in Edmonton, Alberta next week http://berkana.org/pdf/AoH_Edmonton_Feb_2010.pdf. And of course, now that we are getting into the design of the gathering, we are contemplating what it means to harvest the conversations we will be having. We are contemplating this diligently in service to the invitation we have extended to explore how to cultivate Albertans’ collective ingenuity in order to renew and sustain Alberta’s communities.
When in conversation with anyone, including myself, meaning is generated. There is the tangible meaning, such as a record of what decisions are made. In addition, there are the impressions we make of each other, the conflict we carry, the assumptions, the sabotage, the agendas, as well as goodness and love. Yet we struggle with our conversations – especially the ones we choose not to have. Bad feelings are clearly a pattern, and this leaves a lot of conversations never held.
But what if we are more than that? What if instead of leaving the fruit to rot on the tree, we choose to enjoy it? What if we consider every apple, blemishes and all, as a sweet treat? What if we planned for that when we gather? More importantly, what if we planned to explicitly expose those sweet treats for us all to see? What if we held the intention to fully harvest the abundance that is just sitting there – each apple, and all the things we can make together?
A harvest is about both content and process, the tangible and the intangible. The content is not about a message to be delivered to others, but about pulling out of ourselves what is just sitting there waiting to emerge. Our unconscious, or semiconscious knowledge. In terms of contemplating a harvest, content is about knowing what the conversation is for: is it to explore ideas, or to nail down a plan for action. To build a common sense of direction, or generate a diverse range of options? Knowing the overall purpose of the conversation assists greatly with ascertaining the appropriate design for the conversation – the process- as well as sense of harvest (to design for) that is in service to the intention. Intention provides clarity for both content and process.
The form of a harvest is various and unlimited: photographs, a movie, a song, a poem, a report, a picture, a performance, a document. The harvest at times tangible and explicit (such as a report or document) or more intangible and implicit (a song or poem). Both add value and meaning when aligned with the purpose and context of the people gathering.
Skillful design for conversation is the process, and when aligned with the purpose/intention, conversation will provide wonderful fruit for harvest. Our design choices dictate whether we gather effectively the collective wisdom. The quality of our presence in the gathering will dictate what we notice – whether one apple, the whole tree, the whole orchard, the ecosystem, etc.
Whether from an individual or as a collaborative effort, the harvest takes the unarticulated and unconscious to the articulated and conscious that is an expression of value and meaning. It is an expression of learning.
In times of abundance or scarcity, just like an apple, the harvest of conversation is nourishment.
When planning practitioners reflect on their practice, they notice that their own behaviour is unusual when their communities find success – they seek and embrace challenges, they are aware of strengths and weaknesses in themselves and others, they endlessly seek opportunities and the place trust in others. There are, indeed, emerging essential non-technical competencies that make a planning practitioner effective.
As an effective individual planning practitioner, the following elements are emerging as essential:
Find your passion and spend your time there
Be self aware
Be open to any communication
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable
Seek to understand
Further, it is useful to consider what could make a collective planning practice effective. The following elements are emerging:
Get on the radar vs. duck the radar
Be political and get political
Build coalitions
Generate allies and advocate
Step forward
There is a gulf between what we know we ought to do, and what we actually choose to do. The Greek work for this phenomenon is Akrasia. The leadership challenge for the planning profession is to step through and over the gap – to what is possible for us in service to Alberta communities. As individuals and as a collective, we will find our voice if we dare to dwell on what we dream. While the collective voice for planning practitioners is unknown, it will only emerge as we seek our collective leadership capacities. This is our challenge for 2010.
I dream of growing and learning in new ways.
The full article can be found at – http://www.aacip.com/public/AACIP_JournalComp_Issue3_Revised.pdf
We (Marg and Hugh and I) are at the Village at Pigeon Lake hosting a conversation with Alberta educators around leadership in education. Here is the harvest from yesterday’s discussion:
This was my big summer learning. During a soccer practice, we were hearing from our coach that we needed to pass the ball more, and this is what Veronica dared to declare:“When I have the ball, I can’t see anything else!”
All but one of us learned how to play soccer this summer. We had a year of drills and practice and then it was time to really do it – we had to learn what to do while the game is underway. A different beast entirely. And our discussion as a team reveals a lot about how communities work too. Here is what we noticed:
I often panic when I have the ball.
By making an effort to move the ball, I risk losing it. But risk of losing the ball is higher if I just kick it in panic.
I play best when I risk losing the ball.
I need others to tell me what they see, in the moment. They will see things I can not see.
For the team to see what is happening on the field, I have to trust my team.
I don’t have to be comfortable with the ball, or the situation, to see what else is going on.
I have to notice what my strengths and weaknesses are, as well as my teammates, to move the ball effectively.
The game works best when every player is a part of the game – whether they have the ball or not.
As I reflect on my leadership, planning and coaching practice, these questions are unavoidable:
What is my community ‘ball’?
Am I brave enough to make Veronica declarations?
Do I even know if I have the ball?
Am I the right person to have the ball? Should someone else have it?
Does the team see the field?
Are we still having fun?
I am thrilled to have such a great, bold and honest group of people to learn with. Game One
On June 16, 2009, volunteers from New Sarepta, Sherwood Park, Leduc and Leduc County gathered to explore volunteering. Their goal – to sustainably recruit and retain volunteers. Again, in my work with ACE Communities (www.acecommunities.ca) I facilitated the creation of their goal and identification of strategies to reach the goal. Their main finding: we know what needs to be done, we just needed to take the time amongst ourselves (as individuals and together) to find it. We just have to do what we forget we have to do.
In my work with ACE Communities (www.acecommunities.ca) I had the pleasure last night of facilitating a workshop with volunteer experts – the people who showed up to learn about how to recruit and retain volunteers.
With ACE leaders at Leduc County, we designed an experience that brought out the experts in Thorsby and Warburg. Here is their work and what they concluded at the end of the gathering:
The value of the conversation and commitment:
Sharing it all, networking
We know more than we thought
We renew positive
Practice
Remembering why
With inspiration
To appreciate
Encouraging community
Still cares
We don’t let the nay-sayers get me down
We keep trudging along
Walking with more support
With people like me
Not alone
What wonderful work we do
As volunteers
We do all those things!
It’s nice to hear once and a while!
We will appreciate volunteers more
I will appreciate myself more
Good to hear what others are doing
Hearing from other volunteers
I have taken in a lot
I can’t say just one thing
We are out of the box
With 39/20 networking
When we need it
We are out there
We are impressed
So many with similar ideas
We know what works
We’re on to something
We will find more people
That don’t know the word no
Always the same faces
But there are lots of kinds
Of volunteers
Worker bees and people like us
Start saying no to no!
We have lots to take home
Actions to remind myself
Once and a while
Fanning connections
What everyone said is what I was thinking
Try harder
The Terry Fox run will be running
Playing off one another
Making the connections between us
Last week I joined a decade-long conversation about values, culture and leadership in Dallas, Texas.We were 35 people from Canada, South Africa, Mexico, Iceland, the United Kingdom and across the United States.With the sweltering weather outside, we found ourselves creating some cool experiences. Top of mind is Jessica Roemischer’s contribution: prior to gathering, she asked us what music is most meaningful to us.Once gathered, she sat down at a piano to describe what she has been exploring – the connection music has in culture, using us as examples. (For more on Jessica, see www.pianobeautiful.com or http://jessicaroemischer.blogspot.com/)
Game One
